To my lover, who has given his heart to another.

March 15, 2016 § Leave a comment

I miss you.

The days grow long between your last letter. Our beautiful correspondence is no longer, and I miss my muse.Yes, of course, we will always be friends. But as I embark on a new chapter, I miss your voice more than I miss your touch.

This new guy – he sure looks like a lot of fun, and I’m looking forward to meeting him. But, he’s not you. No waxing poetic, no anxious waiting for the next sentence in the next response… No two dollar words that send me scrambling for the dictionary.

There will never be another one like you. And I will mourn your loss, and I will celebrate that I was ever graced with your company.

You changed my life. I will forever be grateful.

This new chapter has me scared -possibly so many changes in the near future… my body is doing things that has my doctor sending me off to specialists. You may be the last one that’s touched me with any sincerity.

The Englishman? He’s gone. “Too much frustration, and not enough pleasure”, I told him.

I don’t know if I will even get a chance with this new lover. I’m scared – scared of the lump in my nethers, scared of the changes in my pre-menopausal body. I’m scared of my own brain that is stressed and forgetful.

I keep going back to the way that you held me. I keep going back to the way that our bodies fit so perfectly together, and that I could breathe and fall into a sweet sleep with you. So easy, so simple, such pleasure.

Time changes, and expands. Busy schedules stretch out between kind words.

I miss you. And, I realize that I need to let you go a little bit more, again, and then again a little bit more.

I will always miss you. I will always wish you the best. I will always miss you…

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